down&up

Instead of doing anything real yesterday, I stayed at home and busied myself by cleaning and finally unpacking. It seemed to me that this was productive, so now all of my belongings have a home.

Unfortunately, I haven't had much social interaction lately, and after a spectacular job interview which I have not heard anything since, and then spending the day all by myself, I became downright depressed. I became a bit homesick, wishing I wasn't surrounded by concrete. I even woke up in this mood, which is never good. Did I make the right decision, coming to Chicago? Why didn't I stay in my comfy cocoon that I had made in Ohio? Why can't a get a job? Why can't I make friends?

Since the lake is to the east, you can't really watch the sun set, but you can watch the moon rise. It's a good place to think.

Yes. I did make the right decision. Chicago is wonderful. Ohio didn't have anything left for me, but that doesn't mean I can't miss it every once in awhile. I knew I would be lonely when I got here, it was all part of the risk. The job will come in time, and maybe I'll make friends there. I just miss my regular friends--I just want to skip the awkwardness and get to the part where they know me. I wish those friends were here. I don't want to talk about my degree that's useless or my siblings. I want to gossip and talk about shitty art made by our peers. I want to sit in Lowry with a tumbler full of gin and eat chicken nuggets (more like, I'm tired of cooking for myself). Or be sitting in the middle of a corn field playing a bootleg version of a board game. But watching the city slowly come to life is good too.